Poem: The Year I grew Up

This is a poem about growing up (not getting older) and realizing we all want to feel alive and beautiful

The year I grew up

This was the year I finally grew up
Like climbing a mountain; gasping at the view from the top
Moments of molting anguish and pain
Once in a lifetime’s enough, my heart couldn’t do it over again
Is it one of those wonders that our fathers have shared?
Yet never added the words, knowing the man tribe eventually go there
I wished the words had fallen on me in earlier years
A right of passage, filled with thorns, and roses
Looking for raindrops of wisdom: there must have been a drought
Was it the modern day metaphor and the ingredients I missed?
The sports car, the lover and dinners with tricks
Afraid to realize I’m no longer 36
Where did youth go, did it tumble away?
Did I think my body and youth would just be held at bay?
My time had come, I knew it was here, I was standing on the ledge; waiting
When youth took my hand and crossed me over the bridge
The warnings to stare straight ahead went unheeded at times
Like a child on his first day of school, watching his mom walk away
The ache of fear, the doubt of being loved stuck to my skin like oil
Would I reach for the moon, carving an unchartered path
Or would I shrivel and die in a red sports car crash
This was the year I finally grew up
And now that I’m here, I feel totally loved