Month: November 2014

Poem: Stolen

When I was a child around 10 years old I was sexually assaulted. I made a choice many years ago to stop treating it as a dirty secret. Although it had devastating impacts on my self-esteem, it created the man I am today. In the media recently there has been discussions of rape and sexual assault. In my case I was raped by a female (she was our babysitter) over a long period of time. In my view, society has a double standard when it comes to males and rape. The first time I told an adult about the assault, they asked me if the girl was hot; that shut me down for over 20 years. Feel to heal and tell to get well. Stolen Soft skin, curious eyes, tender touch Wanting love; bird with a broken wing Searching, craving, longing Easter egg in a room of hammers Salmon eggs in a river with no water Quenching for tenderness in a house of fists You saw me quivering Stillness of nighttime Taking hand in darkness …

Nursing Stories: Bedside lessons from the dying ~ The Angel

Back in 1996 my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It was a turning point in my life and the first time I realized my mom would one day die. I was mamas boy. She told me a story about an Angel who was a Home Care nurse and she didn’t have a name, but she had the memory of someone who guided her through a painful and fearful transition. Many years later I was working on the Palliative care unit and I was receiving a patient. He was a young 43 year old. He was riding his bike and fell. It was unusual, as there was nothing to fall on, as he never hit anything. He was transferred to a hospital and diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour. His name was Page. He was on our unit for over 4 Months and I was his primary nurse. It was normal for me to sit with him at night and hold his hand. He would share his fears and disappointments and cry. He was on …

Poem: A Letter In The Wind

Have you ever had an experience where you wanted to say something to someone so badly but your ego got in the way? If you could write a letter what would it say? A Letter In The Wind I wrote a letter the other day I lifted it up, and it blew away It flew so far, I couldn’t see beyond the sky, Not clear whom it was it written for, you or I? shaking hands danced, while the ink stained the paper. tears dropping like blue puddles; the first rain on parched soil I wondered if my truth would ever find its place Would it spend a lifetime drifting, and dancing, evading its fate? Would it ever find peace on solid ground? With only a name to define its significance A lifetime came and went I thought youth would have lingered longer than it did A Restless heart, time stopped being my friend How could life have progressed so fast? When I thought I had abundance of years to reconcile my injured past My …

Poem: Hello Mr. Good-bye

There are times in life where a feeling of love gets frozen in a time capsule. Then one day it shows up many years later and the memories are intoxicating and heart wrenching. This is a poem about unforgotten love, the bittersweet sense of good-byes and the thaw of memories that replenish your soul. Hello Mr. Good-bye Hello Mr. Good-bye I saw you waiting for me a while ago When we met the first time I was too young to understand The full impact of our encounter A lifetime came and went Looking at you again required grief to consume every piece of my flesh I tried to resist, but I’m powerless against your presence If emotions are currency, I’m suddenly rich again That evening so many heartbreaking years ago Where the tears stained the pillowcase, and we watched each other breathe into the night the same night I learned your name When I saw you waiting for me this time I recognized you the moment we met Desperately tying to align the pieces of …

Leadership: The A B C’s of Clear Communication

I went for a walk with a good friend recently. He shared that one of the greatest gifts I ever gave him was the book by Gervase Bushe called Clear Leadership. He started telling me about how it transformed every aspect of his communication and how it has influenced the way he shows up in every spectrum of his Career and Personal life. I thought I would share the basics of one of the the Tools in the book called “The Experience Cube”. When you master this, you will officially be able to “Walk the CUBE”. The ABC’s of Walking the CUBE When you have an experience that affects you through a “Pinch” (an unpleasant feeling) or something that is sitting with you following an event, that you continue to “think about” past midnight, you probably may want to consider having a Learning Conversation. Consider first if the relationship is required (Professionally may affect team dynamics) or a personal relationship (where there is caring involved). People make up stories and draw conclusions based on assumptions and then …

Poem: The Eyes of Medusa

In our world of media, this is a Poem that represents the collision between narcism, needing validation and our cultural addiction to connection, leading to our increasing social isolation. The Eyes of Medusa Who has seen the eyes of Medusa? Ugliness so profound it turns your human shell to stone The same ugliness rooted in self-hate A paradox to behold when vanity infects your vision of the world Who has lead your soul to the reflective pond? A “selfie”, “facebook post”, “instagram”; imagery to be worshiped Who is the nemesis that draws us toward this curse? So strong is the pull, the internal death is slow and insidious A cruel irony; insatiable hunger for validation An eternally empty bowl A world moves on without us the lure pulls you towards the waters edge like an invisible rope around our neck Transfixed by our very own insecurities Time shows itself soon enough Once stunning and youthful The ultimate paradox Staring at your reflection to realize you are looking into the eyes of Medusa Carl Meadows February …

Nursing Stories: Bedside lessons from the dying

In my role as a Registered Nurse there are many stories that have shaped my existence as a human. There was a woman named Yvette who would not accept Home Care nursing services and she was referred to me under the auspices of “Carl this lady is in bad shape and no one has been able to make inroads, can you see if you can persuade her to let us help her? Her daughter is stressed and can’t do what is needed with her care”. Yvette had Kidney cancer and had nephrostomy tubes and was palliative (she was going to die within a short period of time). When I met Yvette she wouldn’t let me past her door chain. She asked me what I wanted and I told her that I was a home care nurse and I understood she didn’t need me, and I was just there to irrigate her tubes and I promised I wouldn’t expect any conversation with her. After a minute the chain dropped and she let me in. She told …