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Poem: A Letter In The Wind


Have you ever had an experience where you wanted to say something to someone so badly but your ego got in the way? If you could write a letter what would it say?

A Letter In The Wind

I wrote a letter the other day

I lifted it up, and it blew away

It flew so far, I couldn’t see beyond the sky,

Not clear whom it was it written for, you or I?

shaking hands danced, while the ink stained the paper.

tears dropping like blue puddles; the first rain on parched soil

I wondered if my truth would ever find its place

Would it spend a lifetime drifting, and dancing, evading its fate?

Would it ever find peace on solid ground?

With only a name to define its significance

A lifetime came and went

I thought youth would have lingered longer than it did

A Restless heart, time stopped being my friend

How could life have progressed so fast?

When I thought I had abundance of years to reconcile my injured past

My hardened stance, in a world without mortar

I wished I looked beyond the bricks, as time has softened me

Did fate touch a shoulder with a hand that was solid and strong?

They looked at the letter; the story was long

The paper was old and the edges were frayed

What in a letter could someone say?

So many years and memories suddenly flashed by,

The familiar writing, a long lost feeling of love pierced like a knife;

frozen by emotion in what could have been a different life

unwavering love that age would never steal

many years after goodbye, and a heart that never healed

never giving up on the wonder, over all those years

All the time wasted, drowning in tears

How could my ego have created a lifetime of hurt?

On that day, so many heartaches away, when I took the stained blue puddle letter

and placed it back in my shirt?

Carl Meadows

December 27, 2013

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I was born June 13, 1967. I was raised in the town of Port Coquitlam, BC within metro Vancouver. I was a non-conventional boy winning awards for choreography, dance, and led many school performance numbers before grade 6. I also competed as a figure skater and was notorious for doing cart wheels on the ice. I was bullied all through my school years and ended up going to 3 different High Schools and didn't graduate from High School as a result. This was the era of no Gay Rights in Canada. I struggled with visibility, identity and self-esteem. I am one of the lucky survivors as most of my friends died of AIDS or committed suicide. I graduated as a Registered Nurse in 1993 and it was one of the proudest achievements in my lifetime. It taught me that despite hardships, I could overcome insurmountable challenges. I am committed to making the world more compassionate and doing my part by celebrating LGBTQ contributions to the world. Every year my husband and I host a Fall Gala for 'Out in Schools' called the 'Fall Gala". Part of this vision is to make sure every student in BC has the opportunity to see their self worth through LGBTQ visibility, support and action to make the world safe for everyone. In my professional life, I am a Registered Nurse and a Health Services Administrator in Health Care. I live with my husband and our dog Ted in Penticton BC

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