All posts tagged: Gay Identity

Shame

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It was too dark to see much of anything,  other than the silouette of a white sheer headscarf covering your face I was drawn toward the cavernous darkness, surrounded by a shadow, lit by the edges of the crescent moon The darkness gave me an eerie comfort, as I had been there many times before Thinking that shame had created every waking fabric of my being, knowing it was the pen that wrote many of my scripts or the patches on my quilt that completed me When I walked along side you, I could hear your footsteps, words are unnecessary, and I know the imprints of the past are behind me Why do you awaken so fiercely, when I am unprepared for your defening roar? Should I numb all my humanness, to keep from succumbing to the schoolyard scars? Your whispers unleash all my secrets, only known to me When you startle me, I become something foreign to myself What teachings haven’t I learned, that you persist like the plague? Can you not live without …

Looking for me

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In a sex induced culture and in a long term relationship it can feel at times like you are missing out. Particularly when you are questioning your beauty as you are getting older. This poem captures the essence of feeling confused and the possibilities that comes with a new way of “kicking the door down to finding yourself”. Looking for me So many images with faces like me, How are they different; what makes them unique I see them sitting with friends that they know, Laughing and drinking with their arms all in tow I want to be like them, whatever that is I was like them once, and never let anyone in I can’t imagine they want to spend time with me Over forty and not twenty Monogamous and hitched In a culture of sex, what could be worse than this? Where are my friends, I wonder, do I push the away Do I fear them finding out I’m insecure and afraid I’ll make sure I ‘m smiling or traveling in style So a …

Poem: The illusion of masculinity

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The illusion of masculinity Surfacing from the ashes, my stubble and mustache appeared Once a secret only known to me, I could now become whole and complete as I showed my masculine prowess Sculpted with muscles and a scent of musk, my hunger gripped me like a mirage; eating through the eyes of lust was an ultimate betrayal The power I felt knowing I was wanted, superseded the wisdom it took to be a man All I could do was imagine the possibility of shaking the male world into submission The ultimate image of power and confidence a few feet in front of me I reached into my leather sack and pulled out the most threatening weapon of all I placed them on my feet and walked amongst the crowds My masculinity caused a severe vulnerability amongst men The heals would threaten the most iconic images of manhood As I lifted my head amongst such fascination and distain, I rose above them all; I turned my head and walked into the future The illusion of masculinity …