Year: 2015


In the early days of my becoming, a friend appeared It wasn’t a handshake or words that sealed the deal It was something as simple as air A feeling that the space between us was beautiful and safe It didn’t need fixing, coaxing or modifications, It just was, as it always had been   As I turned the pages of the memories, and realized our lives have been a puzzle of decades I see what has always been An ageless miracle, filled with light A knowing, that you will always be there   At times, a cast of thousands can cloud even the bluest skies, When I need you, the lightest of whispers can call you from the distance You were there, as you always have been, Beside me all the time   Carl Meadows December 27, 2015 Advertisements

The Rainstorm

As I stood under your streetlight Your pelting streams cut through the reflection And burnt my eyes with imagination For every ray of success Was a puddle of failure I can’t imagine holding the expectation of success When disappointment has cut the deepest of scars And I’ve touched them often The buffet has fed the masses When the belly has gone hungry As the vision has heeded such beauty The grief has caused me to succumb, and I let you go The future will tell the tale and become the imagination of the next generation of those who dream big and are willing to fail Acceptance is the liberty of all possibility I hold you up to the light and let you go with no expectations As I stand in the rainstorm of life, Failure is a beautiful gift and I thank you The world is changed as a result Carl Meadows November 1, 2015

Looking for me

In a sex induced culture and in a long term relationship it can feel at times like you are missing out. Particularly when you are questioning your beauty as you are getting older. This poem captures the essence of feeling confused and the possibilities that comes with a new way of “kicking the door down to finding yourself”. Looking for me So many images with faces like me, How are they different; what makes them unique I see them sitting with friends that they know, Laughing and drinking with their arms all in tow I want to be like them, whatever that is I was like them once, and never let anyone in I can’t imagine they want to spend time with me Over forty and not twenty Monogamous and hitched In a culture of sex, what could be worse than this? Where are my friends, I wonder, do I push the away Do I fear them finding out I’m insecure and afraid I’ll make sure I ‘m smiling or traveling in style So a …

The Promissed Land

As a stood before you, I knew it was a long way to the promised land I believe it existed, as I had seen it in my dreams so many times, like a kaleidoscope that suddenly stops moving; clarity As I looked out to the flock, I knew there were so many hearts like mine and the power of feeling loved was deep The sceptics were amongst us and the critics had yet to show their sharp and piercing teeth The path to the place of solace and peace would be long and trying for even the toughest of man The dust cut my skin like a plague of termites and the thirst of hunger and air was more than one could endure The vision was clear and the purpose was solid; the cracks on my feet cut with each step As the enduring ache ensued, I though of you and closed my eyes; I was pulled forward with the hope of tomorrow As all the days before the many yesterday’s had left a trail …


I believe in life, many of our adult struggles and pain come from the metaphor of the playground. This is a poem that captures that primal need to belong and the ache that ensues when we get left behind. Playground As I stood against the shimmering sky, I waited for you, as if you were the most important moment of my becoming I waited in anticipation of the laughter and the belonging, that comes with a moment on the swings The running around the bushes and the counting to ten, as everyone scatters and hides The climbing of the poplars and the pretending that comes when you are standing on the top of the world, as the rooftops appear like doll houses The feelings that come with belonging to something bigger than ourselves and the proud elation that happens as the stories of the playground make us worthy As I sat on the tidder todder, it became apparent, that I was alone and there would be no saviour to elevate me. Emotions felt like a …

The Last Page

As I sat with the notes in front of me, I trembled to turn the last page Knowing there was nowhere else to go, the ink would soon run it’s course The fear of forgetting the past or at worst, forgiving the path travelled to arrive at tomorrow’s yesterday; I closed my eyes As that single tear, cut a path down my war lines of wear and age, I realized the magnitude of moving forward The final chapter would be closed forever; it will be for the rest of man to open her page long after my demise I touched the ink to the page and the solemn tear dripped from my chin and I smiled, as I knew this time had arrived a long time ago It was the waiting that caused me to ache, as I wrote the final word “goodbye” and closed the page for eternity, never to wonder again Carl Meadows July 10, 2015

Poem: The Space Between Us

Sometimes in life, emotions and love sneak up on you and all of a sudden we are staring fear in the face. There are many cross roads in love, and all of a sudden we have to make heart wrenching decisions and sometimes we knew from the first kiss that love was doomed but we needed it in that moment. The Space Between Us Lying so close, I couldn’t tell whose heart was beating louder Whiskers scraping the surface, feelings dredging the depths You are my kryptonite, taking all my vulnerabilities I had left Why was the untalking so intense, was the space between us so unfamiliar, Did we want to say something but couldn’t, because emotions were foreign? Was my embrace not big enough; is my love not recognizable, am I missing some obvious signs? When I saw you the second time, a cavernous ravine opened up in front of me Did I find my Holy Grail, or a wound from my past that couldn’t heal? The stronger the love the deeper the hurt; …