humanism, Humanist, Poetry
Comment 1



I believe in life, many of our adult struggles and pain come from the metaphor of the playground. This is a poem that captures that primal need to belong and the ache that ensues when we get left behind.


As I stood against the shimmering sky, I waited for you, as if you were the most important moment of my becoming

I waited in anticipation of the laughter and the belonging, that comes with a moment on the swings

The running around the bushes and the counting to ten, as everyone scatters and hides

The climbing of the poplars and the pretending that comes when you are standing on the top of the world, as the rooftops appear like doll houses

The feelings that come with belonging to something bigger than ourselves and the proud elation that happens as the stories of the playground make us worthy

As I sat on the tidder todder, it became apparent, that I was alone and there would be no saviour to elevate me. Emotions felt like a hundred arrows

Was the invitation to the playground a ploy to watch me sit at the brunt of giggles and sneers. Was I the only one who missed the joke?

I sat by myself for what felt like days, as the setting sun hit my brow and I knew it was time to pull myself from the aftermath of aloneness

I walked home with my empty handed memories, and I knew that the playground, would now be forever, an eternal ache as I walked home alone with a throat sore, from swallowing so many tears

I knew then, in the playground of life, I would never wait again

Carl meadows

July 15, 2015

This entry was posted in: humanism, Humanist, Poetry
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I was born June 13, 1967. I was raised in the town of Port Coquitlam, BC within metro Vancouver. I was a non-conventional boy winning awards for choreography, dance, and led many school performance numbers before grade 6. I also competed as a figure skater and was notorious for doing cart wheels on the ice. I was bullied all through my school years and ended up going to 3 different High Schools and didn't graduate from High School as a result. This was the era of no Gay Rights in Canada. I struggled with visibility, identity and self-esteem. I am one of the lucky survivors as most of my friends died of AIDS or committed suicide. I graduated as a Registered Nurse in 1993 and it was one of the proudest achievements in my lifetime. It taught me that despite hardships, I could overcome insurmountable challenges. I am committed to making the world more compassionate and doing my part by celebrating LGBTQ contributions to the world. Every year my husband and I host a Fall Gala for 'Out in Schools' called the 'Fall Gala". Part of this vision is to make sure every student in BC has the opportunity to see their self worth through LGBTQ visibility, support and action to make the world safe for everyone. In my professional life, I am a Registered Nurse and a Health Services Administrator in Health Care. I live with my husband and our dog Ted in Penticton BC

1 Comment

  1. From the moment I saw you sitting with excitement in your eyes in paradise I knew You were a kind man. I knew I had something to learn. I knew I wanted to learn. I knew YOU had something to say that I yearned to explore. As the week unfolded I became delighted with your love. Your acceptance of others. Your gentle words. Little did I know that I would have more to learn. I feel as though when you speak*or as I read your words here* I find solace and love. Thank you for sharing yourself. Oasis is and forever will be a pure memory.


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