humanism, Humanist, Poetry
Comment 1

Poem: The Space Between Us


Sometimes in life, emotions and love sneak up on you and all of a sudden we are staring fear in the face. There are many cross roads in love, and all of a sudden we have to make heart wrenching decisions and sometimes we knew from the first kiss that love was doomed but we needed it in that moment.

The Space Between Us

Lying so close, I couldn’t tell whose heart was beating louder

Whiskers scraping the surface, feelings dredging the depths

You are my kryptonite, taking all my vulnerabilities I had left

Why was the untalking so intense, was the space between us so unfamiliar,

Did we want to say something but couldn’t, because emotions were foreign?

Was my embrace not big enough; is my love not recognizable, am I missing some obvious signs?

When I saw you the second time, a cavernous ravine opened up in front of me

Did I find my Holy Grail, or a wound from my past that couldn’t heal?

The stronger the love the deeper the hurt; were you and I meant to meet?

If we shouldn’t follow where the path may lead; what if we hold each other’s compass?

Are you the mirage I’ve been desperately searching for my whole life; like an insatiable thirst while lost at sea?

Or are you the balm to cover my wounds?

When you told me of another, my tears burned like acid rain

You saw my eyes well up, could you even care?

My father said, you feel to heal and tell to get well

Why do my feelings ache so much under your spell?

Is this the one lesson wise men need to learn; vulnerability as a right of passage to become the noble man, if so, please spare me the pain of it all

The space between us is tender, will you love me and let me be the man that I am

Or will you fear to love me and set me free?

If your ransom had a price, would you name it, so I could be part of your life?

As I dove inside you, I lost myself in passion,

I didn’t want to ever come up for air, as we shared each other’s breath

Do you truly care about me or am I just another man with space in between?

Will I be the man of your dreams, or an illusion you wish for, as you fall asleep?

The space between us is all that it is, as I look to the future and wonder what lives

As I look to you and hope to find me, I wonder if I am the one who will set you free?

I wonder if I am getting closer to you, even for a second, a minute, an hour or two

I wonder if you can be closer to me; you are the part of me I wish I didn’t need

If love is forever, your heart will always remember

Lying so close, I couldn’t tell whose heart was beating louder

Your breath, your tight hold, your deep kiss told me that I already knew.

Carl Meadows, June 24, 2013

This entry was posted in: humanism, Humanist, Poetry


I was born June 13, 1967. I was raised in the town of Port Coquitlam, BC within metro Vancouver. I was a non-conventional boy winning awards for choreography, dance, and led many school performance numbers before grade 6. I also competed as a figure skater and was notorious for doing cart wheels on the ice. I was bullied all through my school years and ended up going to 3 different High Schools and didn't graduate from High School as a result. This was the era of no Gay Rights in Canada. I struggled with visibility, identity and self-esteem. I am one of the lucky survivors as most of my friends died of AIDS or committed suicide. I am a prolific Poet. I graduated as a Registered Nurse in 1993 and it was one of the proudest achievements in my lifetime as it defied all those folks who said I wasn't enough. It taught me that despite hardships, I could overcome insurmountable challenges. I am committed to making the world more compassionate and doing my part by celebrating LGBT contributions to the world. Every year my husband and I host a Fall Gala for 'Out in Schools' called the 'Carl and Les Fall Gala. Part of this vision is to make sure every student in BC has the opportunity to see their self worth through LGBTQ visibility, support and action to make the world safe for everyone. I am President for the Foundation of Hope whose vision is "a world where LGBT+ refugees can live safely and be themselves". We also support a Film Series at the Vancouver Queer Film Festival called "Migrant Voices" that raises awareness of issues surrounding Refugees, Immigrants, Asylum seekers and Migrants. In my professional life, I am a Registered Nurse and a Health Services Administrator in Health Care. I live with my husband and our dog Ted.

1 Comment

  1. Bryer says

    Always thought provoking Your mind amazes me, and your heart astounds me!
    thank you Carl!


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