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Poem: Insignificant



As I walked towards what I thought was a dry lake bed, I froze as I dropped the glass

The seconds were counted by the beat of my heart, the crash startled the birds, the wind from their wings was felt on my tender skin

I stood frozen in two worlds; in front of a lake that once was, the coolness of the moisture seeping underneath my parched feet and the quench of thirst

Each step would require grief to consume me. The shards of glass would reignite memories of you, as I walked towards the grail in search of something greater than me

As I turned away, I lifted my arm to protect me from your blinding light

My insignificance became daunting; I closed my eyes and hoped for a moment of being wanted

Did I drink the poison or was it always there; the broken glass, the drought, the malaise

As I lifted myself off of what used to be an oasis, now stood as a wasteland

As I opened my eyes, you were holding me, touching me, and with the most gentle strokes you were pulling the glass from by feet

You leaned over and whispered what sounded like a melody, as you told me you would be there until every wound was healed

I knew then, you would be there forever

Carl Meadows

December 23, 2014

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I was born June 13, 1967. I was raised in the town of Port Coquitlam, BC within metro Vancouver. I was a non-conventional boy winning awards for choreography, dance, and led many school performance numbers before grade 6. I also competed as a figure skater and was notorious for doing cart wheels on the ice. I was bullied all through my school years and ended up going to 3 different High Schools and didn't graduate from High School as a result. This was the era of no Gay Rights in Canada. I struggled with visibility, identity and self-esteem. I am one of the lucky survivors as most of my friends died of AIDS or committed suicide. I graduated as a Registered Nurse in 1993 and it was one of the proudest achievements in my lifetime. It taught me that despite hardships, I could overcome insurmountable challenges. I am committed to making the world more compassionate and doing my part by celebrating LGBTQ contributions to the world. Every year my husband and I host a Fall Gala for 'Out in Schools' called the 'Fall Gala". Part of this vision is to make sure every student in BC has the opportunity to see their self worth through LGBTQ visibility, support and action to make the world safe for everyone. In my professional life, I am a Registered Nurse and a Health Services Administrator in Health Care. I live with my husband and our dog Ted in Penticton BC

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