Humanist, Poetry
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Poem: Mother

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Posted with permission.

As I prepare to give my mom her 7 year sobriety cake on Tuesday evening, I wanted to share one of my most personal poems. I asked my mom if I could share the poem I wrote her after her first year when she was presented with her medallion and she said yes.

Mother

As a little boy you held my hand

You protected me fiercely

You took a stand

As a sensitive child you wiped my face

From the tears of discrimination

That my spirit couldn’t face

You held me up for the world to see

Loving me as I was

You saw the beauty in me

Over the years, the spirit became poisoned

By the drink of choice

Despite the warning voices

My child inside wanted to curl up and die

As any evening with the drink

would be soon be filled with lies

I let down my mom

What a terrible son

Could you not see it coming?

Was the rant I kept running.

Not from a judgmental son

But from a place of missing my mom

As time whispered by

the tears wept dry

until the moment in time

when you were all alone

Bleeding, hurting, dying

Maybe not this time

The fall on your head

Was a gift you said

As you are standing here today with your cake, all but alone

It has finally occurred to me

My mom has come home

Carl Meadows

February 3, 2009

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I was born June 13, 1967. I was raised in the town of Port Coquitlam, BC within metro Vancouver. I was a non-conventional boy winning awards for choreography, dance, and led many school performance numbers before grade 6. I also competed as a figure skater and was notorious for doing cart wheels on the ice. I was bullied all through my school years and ended up going to 3 different High Schools and didn't graduate from High School as a result. This was the era of no Gay Rights in Canada. I struggled with visibility, identity and self-esteem. I am one of the lucky survivors as most of my friends died of AIDS or committed suicide. I am a prolific Poet. I graduated as a Registered Nurse in 1993 and it was one of the proudest achievements in my lifetime as it defied all those folks who said I wasn't enough. It taught me that despite hardships, I could overcome insurmountable challenges. I am committed to making the world more compassionate and doing my part by celebrating LGBT contributions to the world. Every year my husband and I host a Fall Gala for 'Out in Schools' called the 'Carl and Les Fall Gala. Part of this vision is to make sure every student in BC has the opportunity to see their self worth through LGBTQ visibility, support and action to make the world safe for everyone. I am President for the Foundation of Hope whose vision is "a world where LGBT+ refugees can live safely and be themselves". We also support a Film Series at the Vancouver Queer Film Festival called "Migrant Voices" that raises awareness of issues surrounding Refugees, Immigrants, Asylum seekers and Migrants. In my professional life, I am a Registered Nurse and a Health Services Administrator in Health Care. I live with my husband and our dog Ted.

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