Humanist, Poetry
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Poem: Misery

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I believe in living a human life; this means sharing all the vulnerabilities of the human condition.  Perceptions and obsessions of happiness can alienate the most basic human emotion and can add to the struggle of finding peace with ourselves. Misery finds itself in a world of secrets.

Misery

As I walked past you, I heard you whisper my name

I begged you not to stare at me, as your scent brought you back to life

You pulled me in, and I could feel your fingers touch my skin

The moment you touched me, I felt a draft that I evaded as long as I could

An ache so deep and heavy, I collapsed from the weight

Please spare me the pain of loving you again, and let me go

As you scratch my skin, make sure you take all that you can,

as it will feed your insatiable appetite of me

As I walked to the door, tears stung my cheeks like acid

and my heart slowly stopped beating

As I pushed the gates of the chamber open,

I turned around to beg you to leave me alone

The wind started to whisper; so profound I braced my ears.

I suddenly heard what I hadn’t know before; you needed me all along

As the force blew like a thousand hurricanes,

I stepped into the fear and closed my eyes

I felt your fingers slip into mine and we walked into the storm

When our eyes met, I saw what no one else could;

the moonlight reflecting on a single tear

I could read your lips as you spelled out every syllable;

t-h-a-n-k y-o-u m-i-s-e-r-y,

I l-o-v-e y-o-u.

Carl Meadows

November 30, 2014

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I was born June 13, 1967. I was raised in the town of Port Coquitlam, BC within metro Vancouver. I was a non-conventional boy winning awards for choreography, dance, and led many school performance numbers before grade 6. I also competed as a figure skater and was notorious for doing cart wheels on the ice. I was bullied all through my school years and ended up going to 3 different High Schools and didn't graduate from High School as a result. This was the era of no Gay Rights in Canada. I struggled with visibility, identity and self-esteem. I am one of the lucky survivors as most of my friends died of AIDS or committed suicide. I am a prolific Poet. I graduated as a Registered Nurse in 1993 and it was one of the proudest achievements in my lifetime as it defied all those folks who said I wasn't enough. It taught me that despite hardships, I could overcome insurmountable challenges. I am committed to making the world more compassionate and doing my part by celebrating LGBT contributions to the world. Every year my husband and I host a Fall Gala for 'Out in Schools' called the 'Carl and Les Fall Gala. Part of this vision is to make sure every student in BC has the opportunity to see their self worth through LGBTQ visibility, support and action to make the world safe for everyone. I am President for the Foundation of Hope whose vision is "a world where LGBT+ refugees can live safely and be themselves". We also support a Film Series at the Vancouver Queer Film Festival called "Migrant Voices" that raises awareness of issues surrounding Refugees, Immigrants, Asylum seekers and Migrants. In my professional life, I am a Registered Nurse and a Health Services Administrator in Health Care. I live with my husband and our dog Ted.

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