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Poem: Stepping into me


Stepping into me

I wonder who I’d be if I stepped into me

Would I watch the setting sun, close my eyes and smell the sea

Who would I be, if I set my worries free?

Throw them up to the air for others to see

What would I do if I stepped into you?

Have a conversation; one, maybe two?

What would I do, if I just made the time?

Embrace my one life or crumble and die?

What would it look like, if I lived life for me?

Would the baggage I’ve carried finally drop free?

What would integrity look like, if it were something to watch?

Would I fly like a kite, or sting like a wasp?

What if my nectar had everything to give?

Nourish a poet, a writer, a friend?

Walking away from authenticity and trust,

Is like a masterpiece sculpture waiting to rust

What if I am, what I needed to be?

Would you comfort my heart, when my soul is set free?

What would I do to get closer to you?

Tell others my stories, or keep them for you

What could I do to be closer to me?

Will my life be a lie, or will I set myself free?

What would courage look like if I gave it a face?

Would it be covered with smiles, laughter or grace?

Would it climb a big mountain and scream from the top?

That I’ve finally arrived, remembering those who I lost

Rejections burn, leaves a visible scar

But life without truth, is death to your heart

What would I do if I stepped into you?

Give you your freedom, or put you in a zoo?

Will I lie dying, having lived another persons dream?

Or surrounded by those who have always loved me, for me?

As I look in your eyes, I finally can see

A lifetime of dreams, as you stepped into me

Carl Meadows

January 15, 2011

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I was born in Prince Rupert, BC and I grew up in Port Coquitlam, BC within metro Vancouver. I was a non-conventional boy winning awards for choreography, dance, and led many school performance numbers before grade 6. I also competed as a figure skater and was notorious for doing cart wheels on the ice. I was bullied all through my school years and ended up going to 3 different High Schools and didn't graduate as a result. This was the era of no Gay Rights in Canada. I struggled with visibility, identity and self-esteem. I am one of the lucky survivors as most of my friends died of AIDS or committed suicide. I graduated as a Registered Nurse in 1993 and it was the proudest achievement in my life. It taught me that despite hardships, I could overcome insurmountable challenges. I am committed to making the world more compassionate and doing my part by celebrating LGBTQ contributions to the world. In 2014 I responded to a call to sponsor two Syrian Gay refugees to come to Canada. This launched the beginning of a national Charity called the Rainbow Foundation of Hope. I was the founding President. n my professional life, I am a Registered Nurse and a Healthcare Executive. I live with my husband and our dog Rocky in Penticton BC

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