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Poem: Stepping into me


Stepping into me

I wonder who I’d be if I stepped into me

Would I watch the setting sun, close my eyes and smell the sea

Who would I be, if I set my worries free?

Throw them up to the air for others to see

What would I do if I stepped into you?

Have a conversation; one, maybe two?

What would I do, if I just made the time?

Embrace my one life or crumble and die?

What would it look like, if I lived life for me?

Would the baggage I’ve carried finally drop free?

What would integrity look like, if it were something to watch?

Would I fly like a kite, or sting like a wasp?

What if my nectar had everything to give?

Nourish a poet, a writer, a friend?

Walking away from authenticity and trust,

Is like a masterpiece sculpture waiting to rust

What if I am, what I needed to be?

Would you comfort my heart, when my soul is set free?

What would I do to get closer to you?

Tell others my stories, or keep them for you

What could I do to be closer to me?

Will my life be a lie, or will I set myself free?

What would courage look like if I gave it a face?

Would it be covered with smiles, laughter or grace?

Would it climb a big mountain and scream from the top?

That I’ve finally arrived, remembering those who I lost

Rejections burn, leaves a visible scar

But life without truth, is death to your heart

What would I do if I stepped into you?

Give you your freedom, or put you in a zoo?

Will I lie dying, having lived another persons dream?

Or surrounded by those who have always loved me, for me?

As I look in your eyes, I finally can see

A lifetime of dreams, as you stepped into me

Carl Meadows

January 15, 2011

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I was born June 13, 1967. I was raised in the town of Port Coquitlam, BC within metro Vancouver. I was a non-conventional boy winning awards for choreography, dance, and led many school performance numbers before grade 6. I also competed as a figure skater and was notorious for doing cart wheels on the ice. I was bullied all through my school years and ended up going to 3 different High Schools and didn't graduate from High School as a result. This was the era of no Gay Rights in Canada. I struggled with visibility, identity and self-esteem. I am one of the lucky survivors as most of my friends died of AIDS or committed suicide. I graduated as a Registered Nurse in 1993 and it was one of the proudest achievements in my lifetime. It taught me that despite hardships, I could overcome insurmountable challenges. I am committed to making the world more compassionate and doing my part by celebrating LGBTQ contributions to the world. Every year my husband and I host a Fall Gala for 'Out in Schools' called the 'Fall Gala". Part of this vision is to make sure every student in BC has the opportunity to see their self worth through LGBTQ visibility, support and action to make the world safe for everyone. In my professional life, I am a Registered Nurse and a Health Services Administrator in Health Care. I live with my husband and our dog Ted in Penticton BC

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