As I crawled from my childhood battlefield,

I remembered the voices of hope, like a permanent etching in my mind

I was never good enough, strong enough, quiet enough

every time I had “an idea”, it caused the stone figures to shudder

The forces of conformity weighted on me like a hundred bricks

The passcode was easy to remember; “do what we say, not what we do”

At times I felt the aloneness, as if I was taking the last possible drop of water

yet, through hope, I always believed another tear would quench me

And then the test began, like a lightning storm in a forgotten dessert

You were there to feel the bolt

You may have scarred me, torn at my skin and even made me weep 

But you will never change the fabric of me

My power isn’t one of dominance, ego or dishonesty 

It is the most frightening one of all

As I touch the hearts of those who know me through kindness,

you will never know love, peace or redemption 

Don’t count me out, but know, I will never be you

Carl Meadows

March 7, 2016