humanism, Humanist, Poetry, Uncategorized
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Don’t Count Me Out


As I crawled from my childhood battlefield,

I remembered the voices of hope, like a permanent etching in my mind

I was never good enough, strong enough, quiet enough

every time I had “an idea”, it caused the stone figures to shudder

The forces of conformity weighted on me like a hundred bricks

The passcode was easy to remember; “do what we say, not what we do”

At times I felt the aloneness, as if I was taking the last possible drop of water

yet, through hope, I always believed another tear would quench me

And then the test began, like a lightning storm in a forgotten dessert

You were there to feel the bolt

You may have scarred me, torn at my skin and even made me weep 

But you will never change the fabric of me

My power isn’t one of dominance, ego or dishonesty 

It is the most frightening one of all

As I touch the hearts of those who know me through kindness,

you will never know love, peace or redemption 

Don’t count me out, but know, I will never be you

Carl Meadows

March 7, 2016

This entry was posted in: humanism, Humanist, Poetry, Uncategorized


I was born June 13, 1967. I was raised in the town of Port Coquitlam, BC within metro Vancouver. I was a non-conventional boy winning awards for choreography, dance, and led many school performance numbers before grade 6. I also competed as a figure skater and was notorious for doing cart wheels on the ice. I was bullied all through my school years and ended up going to 3 different High Schools and didn't graduate from High School as a result. This was the era of no Gay Rights in Canada. I struggled with visibility, identity and self-esteem. I am one of the lucky survivors as most of my friends died of AIDS or committed suicide. I graduated as a Registered Nurse in 1993 and it was one of the proudest achievements in my lifetime. It taught me that despite hardships, I could overcome insurmountable challenges. I am committed to making the world more compassionate and doing my part by celebrating LGBTQ contributions to the world. Every year my husband and I host a Fall Gala for 'Out in Schools' called the 'Fall Gala". Part of this vision is to make sure every student in BC has the opportunity to see their self worth through LGBTQ visibility, support and action to make the world safe for everyone. In my professional life, I am a Registered Nurse and a Health Services Administrator in Health Care. I live with my husband and our dog Ted in Penticton BC

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