Author: Carl Meadows R.N. BSN, MA

Poem: The Eyes of Medusa

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In our world of media, this is a Poem that represents the collision between narcism, needing validation and our cultural addiction to connection, leading to our increasing social isolation. The Eyes of Medusa Who has seen the eyes of Medusa? Ugliness so profound it turns your human shell to stone The same ugliness rooted in self-hate A paradox to behold when vanity infects your vision of the world Who has lead your soul to the reflective pond? A “selfie”, “facebook post”, “instagram”; imagery to be worshiped Who is the nemesis that draws us toward this curse? So strong is the pull, the internal death is slow and insidious A cruel irony; insatiable hunger for validation An eternally empty bowl A world moves on without us the lure pulls you towards the waters edge like an invisible rope around our neck Transfixed by our very own insecurities Time shows itself soon enough Once stunning and youthful The ultimate paradox Staring at your reflection to realize you are looking into the eyes of Medusa Carl Meadows February …

Nursing Stories: Bedside lessons from the dying

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In my role as a Registered Nurse there are many stories that have shaped my existence as a human. There was a woman named Yvette who would not accept Home Care nursing services and she was referred to me under the auspices of “Carl this lady is in bad shape and no one has been able to make inroads, can you see if you can persuade her to let us help her? Her daughter is stressed and can’t do what is needed with her care”. Yvette had Kidney cancer and had nephrostomy tubes and was palliative (she was going to die within a short period of time). When I met Yvette she wouldn’t let me past her door chain. She asked me what I wanted and I told her that I was a home care nurse and I understood she didn’t need me, and I was just there to irrigate her tubes and I promised I wouldn’t expect any conversation with her. After a minute the chain dropped and she let me in. She told …

Poem: The Spiders Lair

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There are many times in life where there is something emotional and visceral going on within ourselves and the perception of events supersede the reality; This is where fear and possibility meet~Life’s great intersection. The Spiders Lair As I stood on the precipice and opened my wings My heart began to dance and my soul to sing With boundless possibilities and an open sky I stepped out from the ledge, and closed my eyes The wind pulled me up and the current gave me a lift Who would have thought the winds, would suddenly shift? What seemed like a lifetime, would abruptly stop Suddenly peering into haunting eyes, stuck in one spot Shards of color canvas resting in unfamiliar bundles Night seemed like day, and day seemed like night Waiting in fear of the terrible bite Time became endless and glaring became normal Would I die in this place, or realize my dreams of tomorrow Would these eyes even care to see my possibility and hope Or would it focus on spinning me with the …

Poem: His-Story

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Here is the story of a man who said yes (Jim Deva) to my request in 2001 to go door-to-door collecting funds for the Aaron Webster Reward Fund. We eventually collected 12,000 and had the Police Board match the donations. Prior to this, the Vancouver City Police were not allies of the gay community. The work with the Vancouver City Police, Jim Deva and myself was the epicentre for the Community Policing Offices, and the GLBT Liaison Position with the Police. At his memorial service I realized how much the world changed. His-story I heard his-story fall on the floor today I scrambled to put the memories in sequence Those early days when we didn’t understand the magnitude of our calling Standing in the fierce wind of resistance We were not alone The vision was transforming in front of our eyes I heard history fall on the floor today and cried with joy The world changed and we forgot to thank her Today was one thousand thank-yous Carl Meadows September 27, 2014

Poem: The Year I grew Up

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This is a poem about growing up (not getting older) and realizing we all want to feel alive and beautiful The year I grew up This was the year I finally grew up Like climbing a mountain; gasping at the view from the top Moments of molting anguish and pain Once in a lifetime’s enough, my heart couldn’t do it over again Is it one of those wonders that our fathers have shared? Yet never added the words, knowing the man tribe eventually go there I wished the words had fallen on me in earlier years A right of passage, filled with thorns, and roses Looking for raindrops of wisdom: there must have been a drought Was it the modern day metaphor and the ingredients I missed? The sports car, the lover and dinners with tricks Afraid to realize I’m no longer 36 Where did youth go, did it tumble away? Did I think my body and youth would just be held at bay? My time had come, I knew it was here, I was …

Humanism: He for She Campaign #heforshe

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Someone asked me recently if my signature of wearing Stilettos to worthy events was about showmanship or whether there was a deeper purpose. I shared that Stilettos are a metaphor for female power and a symbol of social construction. I watched Emma Watson’s Speech (#Heforshe) at the United Nation sharing her experience of Feminism and the impacts of stereotypes on both, men and women. Men over 28 years old in England are the most likely to commit suicide and the second cause of death for men between 28 and 48 years of age. My vision is that the day men are liberated and deconstructed from the pedagogy of masculinity. Only then will women be equal to men, as it is the social construction of gender that oppresses both women and men. I will wear heals and a moustache until no one cares.

The Poet and the Farmer

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Carl and Les represent two different generations of gay men; the poet and the farmer. Carl was raised in the town of Port Coquitlam where he was a non-conventional boy winning awards for choreography as he performed many school dance numbers before grade 7. He was bullied all through his schools years. Les grew up in Trochu, Alberta and never knew what the word gay until he moved to Calgary in his late teens. This was the era of no Gay Rights in Canada. Both men struggled with visibility, identity and self-esteem growing up. Carl and Les are committed to making the world more compassionate and committed to doing their part by celebrating GLBT contributions to the world. The annual Fall Gala is part of this vision to make sure every student in BC has the opportunity to see their self worth through GLBT visibility, support and action to make the world safe for everyone through supporting Out in Schools. This is our commitment. Come help us change the world.

Poem: Saturn

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Essential Distance and closeness in Love: the paradox. In my life and relationship with my husband of 25 years I have always been in a paradox of needing love and closeness and space and distance simultaneously. This poem is about the essential distance and the importance on individuality. Saturn With a naked eye, the rings can go unnoticed, Despite such brilliance Solitude, solid and perfectly you At times cold and fiercely independent Do you ever want to see me with all my imperfections? If so, give me a sign You never truly touch the wonder A peripheral longing that evades contact Loyalty displayed for an eternity Your presence is always there The rings create utmost magnificence Heartsick that the distance remains Over time, you learned to stand in love Oh Saturn, how can such distance create a lifelong peace? Close up, the rings are nothing but small meaningless pieces Standing back they are so beautiful and mesmerizing Please share your wisdom I will constantly orbit around you for eternity Knowing you see me Knowing we …

Poem: Petal

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This is a Poem about friendship and letting go. Sometimes we have Friendships that last a lifetime and some are there for just a moment or two. Its about learning to live and enjoy the moments. Here is a poem that speaks to wanting to feel like we belong, yet knowing fate has its own course to take. Petal The glistening sun on your vibrant cluster of beauty made your petals seem like forever The fragrance, the colour, the magnificence The wind seemed unrelenting in its force When the storm had passed, I saw half of what was, remaining Scrambling to pick up the petals, I knew it was only time As I held you in my hands, I knew I had no moisture to save you The salt from my body would burn your tender skin No antidotes left Your edges started to turn inward, and I knew then, you needed to go I closed my eyes and remembered what was so beautiful and complete And I needed to let you go where there …

Lessons in Leadership

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http://tamarathorpe.com/larger-than-life-leadership-lessons/#comments I have been in formal and non-formal leadership roles for most of my life. I have had amazing role models and mentors guiding me through life. I have also become both a role model and mentor to many over my career and personal life. The term “Leadership” is often described as a role, and yet I see it more as a verb. I see examples of leadership in every context, from community activism, to activities within formal roles and I have come to learn that leadership is a set of activities or behaviors that demonstrate courage and integrity. In other words the alignment of what we say, measured against what we do (our behaviours). Leaders “do things”. It is about being the person you need to be, unapologetically; the world will test true leaders by constantly telling you what you’re not, in order to have you conform to the status quo. Over the years, I have had many up and coming young leaders ask me what makes someone a successful leader. I am not …