I have travelled the world and been to every continent, and yet the one place in the world that etched its place in my heart forever was Haida Gwaii; The land of the Haida people and the most majestical place on earth. In between the British Columbia coast and the most treacherous ocean on the planet and more ship wrecks than people, there is Haida Gwaii. Haida Gwaii The mist shrouded you like a mystical wonder, Your white peaks scraped the skies Coasts carved by fierce force Juan Perez wondered and left The others left sorrow White man traded you blankets in peace, So they say, as they wiped out your people with scorn and disease Missionaries moved you away from culture that lay So you would be saved Only to have crosses carved on your graves  Land of enchantment, reconciliation and hope Destiny is weighted by the cultures that cope Monster trees gobble the past The spirits and treasures are all that last Be it under the mosses, or the sacrilegious crosses What comes …

We are all products of our experiences as children. I was asked by my coach a few years ago if I could get my Father to describe me as a child in one sentence or less. My father described me as “the most courageous little boy I ever knew, and the most vulnerable; both at the same time”~a paradox. This process inspired a search for the little boy inside of me, named Carlie. Carlie Where did Carlie go, did he disappear? As I stop and remember those long lost years. Holding hands, gumboots traipsing puddles; mesmerized I would have stared at your reflection if I knew it was our last moment together Salt and peppershaker in hand for a birthday suprize Grandma would soon see our accomplishments of the day The only grandfather I knew The hushed sounds, the whispers, something was wrong the untalking was profound The story of the sunlight blinding your eyes, the truck, the accident, my grandfather disappeared Talking late into the night; your life lesson stuck to me like a …

I was coming home one day on the Vancouver Metro when I suddenly became melancholy. It occurred to me that the childhood city I grew up in was disappearing.  The creeks I jumped in, the trees I had climbed, had become either parking lots, new subdivisions or 30 story towers. Missing Blue reflecting blue A scented cedar bow The sound of a cackling raven The great blue heron Catching frogs on the banks Catfish and crayfish Towering grass City in transition again Cranes scratching the sky Jackhammers on pavement Towering glass Missing stillness Underground tunnels Gobbling monster machines Eating cedar, grass and creeks Masses and movement My childhood city Missing Carl Meadows, August 22, 2009

When I was a child around 10 years old I was sexually assaulted. I made a choice many years ago to stop treating it as a dirty secret. Although it had devastating impacts on my self-esteem, it created the man I am today. In the media recently there has been discussions of rape and sexual assault. In my case I was raped by a female (she was our babysitter) over a long period of time. In my view, society has a double standard when it comes to males and rape. The first time I told an adult about the assault, they asked me if the girl was hot; that shut me down for over 20 years. Feel to heal and tell to get well. Stolen Soft skin, curious eyes, tender touch Wanting love; bird with a broken wing Searching, craving, longing Easter egg in a room of hammers Salmon eggs in a river with no water Quenching for tenderness in a house of fists You saw me quivering Stillness of nighttime Taking hand in darkness …

Have you ever had an experience where you wanted to say something to someone so badly but your ego got in the way? If you could write a letter what would it say? A Letter In The Wind I wrote a letter the other day I lifted it up, and it blew away It flew so far, I couldn’t see beyond the sky, Not clear whom it was it written for, you or I? shaking hands danced, while the ink stained the paper. tears dropping like blue puddles; the first rain on parched soil I wondered if my truth would ever find its place Would it spend a lifetime drifting, and dancing, evading its fate? Would it ever find peace on solid ground? With only a name to define its significance A lifetime came and went I thought youth would have lingered longer than it did A Restless heart, time stopped being my friend How could life have progressed so fast? When I thought I had abundance of years to reconcile my injured past My …

There are times in life where a feeling of love gets frozen in a time capsule. Then one day it shows up many years later and the memories are intoxicating and heart wrenching. This is a poem about unforgotten love, the bittersweet sense of good-byes and the thaw of memories that replenish your soul. Hello Mr. Good-bye Hello Mr. Good-bye I saw you waiting for me a while ago When we met the first time I was too young to understand The full impact of our encounter A lifetime came and went Looking at you again required grief to consume every piece of my flesh I tried to resist, but I’m powerless against your presence If emotions are currency, I’m suddenly rich again That evening so many heartbreaking years ago Where the tears stained the pillowcase, and we watched each other breathe into the night the same night I learned your name When I saw you waiting for me this time I recognized you the moment we met Desperately tying to align the pieces of …